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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Tears and Chocolate Kisses

I had just about had it today after another trying day working full-time with behavioral kids for less than $200/ week.
I'm not sure what exactly made it brutal. Maybe it was the second day coming back from having a week off and realizing that this is my routine. This is my life.
Maybe it was getting slammed with a $1000 car repair this afternoon. Whatever it was pushed me over the edge so much so that I cried the whole way to Grammy camp.

When I got there to pick up the kiddos, Henry flung himself into my arms and smooshed his sticky chocolate-smeared mouth against my cheek.
I so needed that kind of unadulterated child-love. I'm sure God has a plan for my life and that however difficult it may seem now, this too shall pass and it will serve its purpose.
But for now... what the hell????!!!

Saturday, February 25, 2012


Henry: Don't break that glass, Daddy..... or Henry's Mama will be very disappointed in you!
Yeah, I think Dada knows that lady!

Got your back

So we got a bit turned around during our road trip looking for a Play Place @ McDonald's for Henry.....

Me: We're lost, Jim. We should ask these people for directions.
Jim: We're not lost. I know exactly where we are.
Me (thinking to myself): Yeah you know where you ARE, but not where you WANT to go.
Then Henry pipes up from his little Captain's Chair in the backseat.
Henry: No Mama! We're NOT lost! Dada knows WHERE WE ARE.
Me: Glad someone's got your back, Jim.
Henry: I got your back, Daddy.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

What the Hell Happened

I just want to know what the hell happened to my angelic, sweet little boy. His alter ego is recalcitrent, stubborn, contrary, sullen and willful. My 3 year old has become a teenage girl.

This is our first trip with both kids and I must say it has been trying. On the positve side, I can see what a seamlessly functioning machine Jim and I are together. We can communicate with a simple look, like 2 nights ago when Henry was HOT, whimpering and complaining his ear hurt. We looked at each other over his huddled, shivering little form and I KNEW we were headed to the ER. 3 hours later, it turned out to be a false alarm since the little scamp started feeling better and was running around the waiting room, watching "Wonder Pets" after being triaged and thrown back into the holding tank.
We decided to leave after 2 ambulances showed up and he's been fine except for his seasonal cough. Still not an experience I would recommend for out-of-staters. No soap in the restrooms and now that I think back on it, the triage nurse didn't wear gloves when she examined Henry. Ew.

It's been like constantly walking a fine line between Henry's enjoyment and total toddler takeover. Well, I guess I can't call him a toddler now since he's technically in the preschool class but I can't think of the equivalent matching "P"s.
I just want him to have fun while not becoming another part of his entourage. Factor in the ever-present judging eyes of strangers and it can be stressful since I know to an outsider it looks like we're letting our kid act like a complete BRAT who has his parents tethered on tight leashes. Our reality (or at least our intention of it) is more along the lines of picking battles and letting him learn natural consequences (up to a point).
"I don't want to eat breakfast." leaves me with two choices:
1. Sit him down with food and leave him to it. If he eats, fine. If he doesn't, that's his choice. We told him to eat now or wait until lunchtime so he knows the consequences.
2. Sit there until he eats breakfast which throws off the whole day for us and the grandparents, not to mention being guaranteed to cause a nuclear meltdown in the hotel dining room until he decides to comply.
So he refused a plate of his favorite- fruit salad- and then refused a strategically offered bagel in the car, picked at lunch and was a complete PILL all morning from being tired and hungry. He slept in the car, played on a playground and then was absolutely fine for dinner.

So maybe it was the change in routine. Maybe it was being tired and hungry but this song and dance is getting old. We stopped briefly at a winery and those 3 tastings choices were the highlight of my day.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Age is just a number...or a fruit

Another Henry-in-the-car conversation.
Henry: I THREE years old, Mama!
Me: Yes, you are. How old is Mama?
Henry: FIFTY!
Me: NO!!!
Henry: Um....FIFTY-ONE!!
Me: (sigh) And how old is Grammy?
Henry: Cantaloupe FIFTY!

Too Many

Putting Henry to bed tonight and he insisted on carting a bunch of library books with him. He stacked them by his bed, then IN his bed and protested when I removed them so he could sleep without sharp corners poking him in the side.

Henry: Don't take dem away, Mama! I want them! I want TOO MANY BOOKS in bed with me!!

Never thought I would say there was such a thing as too many books....

Yours and Mine

Driving Henry and Kathryn to Grammy-camp this morning and telling Henry how proud I was of him and how happy he makes me.

Me: I love you so much, my Doodle.
Henry: NO! I'm not YOUR Doodle! I DADA'S DOODLE!

Boys against girls, already?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

"The Smell"

Fair warning: relatively gross topic but I'm pretty sure other parents out there will symapthize with me. If you don't, ask your nanny/daycare provider. They'll know what I'm talking about.

What is going on with Kathryn's diapers lately??? She's been teething and that seems to be the go-to answer for anything out of the ordinary. But seriously, what the heck?

A couple months ago, shortly after she started solid food, we called the doctor about her constipation and vocally-expressed pain whenever she went. That turned out to be diet-related and we eased up on the applesauce and rice cereal. Oops, my bad. You'd think she was our first kid or something.
Then she was still having a hard time going, even with introducing moderate amounts of plum juice to supplement my breastmilk. Then my milk supply decreased, even with constant nursing/pumping so I suspect it was stress-related from my crazy job.
Kat needed more to drink so we started supplementing with formula.
Problem solved- no more screaming infant during defecation.

And now the present...the past few diapers have been DISGUSTING. How can such a petite-ladylike little beauty drop a load that made my garbageman-brother gag?

Just last night my husband said she was happily bouncing in her jumper when he noticed "the smell" and saw that she had not only pooped out her diaper but her clothing had somehow magically wicked it up her back all the way to her neck.
Gravity-defying feces? What next?
This morning she was again happily gurgling and kicking away in her crib when I came in to get her up. Again, "the smell" and I thought "Please just be gas." No such luck...
Thankfully that diaper was contained but it must have weighed more than she did.

So whatever is going on, I hope it regulates itself before our upcoming roadtrip otherwise it's going to be 9 hours of Henry hollering, "Mama! What's "that smell?" Kaffryn go poopie? AGAIN?! Oh! Dat's YUCKY!"


Henry & I went to the carwash yesterday and as they were drying the car, Henry decided to get all inquisitive and nosy. At the top of his lungs, of course.

Henry: MAMA! Who dat man wiping our car?
Me: He works here, Henry.
Henry: What his name?
Me: I don't know.
Henry: What his Mama & Dada's name? What his sister's name? What his doggie's name? Huh, Mama? Mama? MAMA!!! WHO IS THAT???

Ugh, good grief, kid. Mind your own business!


Cuddling Henry on my lap this morning and just basking in a perfect motherhood-moment.
Me (whispering): You are so beautiful, Henry.
Henry (eyes closed, whispers back): No I'm not. I'm magic.

You sure are.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Singing to Sleep

Henry's pounding away on his Bongo drum, singing a mix of "B-I-B-L-E, that's the book for me" and Jimmy Buffett's "Jolly Mon" at the top of his voice. 

 Sure, that will help the baby go down for her afternoon nap.


Jim's laptop has been out of commission for a couple of days and he and Henry have been going through WoW withdrawal. Henry wandered in this morning and the first thing he said after seeing Jim's dark computer screen??

Henry: Dada's computer broken for a LONG LONG time and we can't jump Doodle.

An' Dada try to fix it and he workin' on it for a LONG LONG time!

Relativity. No gametime feels like forever, appparently.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

WHO'S Driving?

Me: You drive me crazy, Henry!
Henry: I not driving, Mama! YOU driving! Silly goose!


Henry fell Christmas Eve and hit his eyebrow pretty good on the coffee table.
4 stitches later, Jim's taken to calling him "Rocky" and taught him to say, "Cut me, Mick."
Except that sometimes Henry said "Cut me, Mickey" instead, which is rather disturbing.



I told Henry to be gentle around Kathryn because her head is fragile like an egg.

Henry: I be gentle so I don't crack her head like egg?
Me: Yes. Gentle around the baby.
Henry: Because she has eggs in there?

Not quite, buddy....



Henry, Kat & I were getting ready to go for a walk.
While I was putting on Henry's mittens when he started waving his hands around...

Henry: Mama! I can't pick my nose in these!!

Nope, and that's a GOOD thing!


Looked over to see Henry sitting on the couch, tangled in at least 2 different colors of yarn.

Henry: Lookit Mama! I making Charlotte's web!!


Illustrations of Charlotte's Web spider web clipart pics.

Holy Water

Henry's running around, burning off some excess energy one morning. And roaring.
Lots and lots of roaring.....

Henry: I a mean boy! Rawrr!!!
Me: Henry, if you don't stop that, I'm getting out the holy water.
Henry: RAWR!!!!
(Jim actually DID get it out and and flicked some at Henry)
Henry: What dat? I wanna see! Mine!

(And just in case you were wondering, he didn't smoke. Not quite sure what I would do if he had!)

Taming Monsters

Not quite sure what to do with this.....
Apparently this computer game Jim and Henry play contains some kind of werewolf creature.

Henry: I not scary of the wolfman monster! He come to my house and I will hug him! He breathes fire and I will say "No, no, no! Don't breathe fire on my Mama!"

Still not too keen on the whole idea of him seeing monsters in games but he spends most of the gametime jumping into water and climbing stairs.

The "Bad Button"

Jim turned on the laptop in anticipation of playing Star Wars with Henry. Henry came pattering over to see what was going on, clutching his little box of animal crackers.

Henry: Is that the "bad button"? That looks like the "bad button" Dada!
Jim: Yes, that turns it off.
Henry: I not press it!

Yeah, that's great except right after that Henry excitedly smeared animal-cracker fingerprints all over the screen.

Friday, February 10, 2012


Henry's new favorite companion is a riding dinosaur, like those pony heads on a stick.
It goes everywhere with us. When we arrived at Grammy camp, with Dinosaur's head faithfully resting next to Henry's on the back of the seat, Henry grabbed it and then started plucking at the seat.

Me: What are you doing, Henry?
Henry: I picking all the LEAVES for Dinosaur to eat at Grammy camp so he's not HUNGRY! I leaving the yucky leaves here so they don't hurt his belly. OK Mama?

Hungry Henry

Henry was hungry....

Henry: I need to find something friendly for my belly. Food, or something.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Cutlery Use

Henry's learning how to use a butter knife. After sawing away at the tablecloth for the umpteenth time, I was ready to take it away.
Especially since all that was left on his plate were finger foods.

Henry: NO!! Don't take knife away!!
Me: What are you going to cut with it, Henry?
Henry: KETCHUP!!!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Dancing Feet

I was holding Kathryn up with her little pink-socked toesies JUST touching the floor so she could "walk" to Henry and she danced on her tippy-toes across the floor. SO cute!

Henry: Lookit! She's walking like MADONNA!

Henry was quite taken with the halftime show last night.

(He thought Madonna was Lady Gaga).

Sunday, February 5, 2012


Baby wardrobe change (again!)
I was kissing Kathryn's little bare toes when she laughed, grabbed her foot from me and shoved it in her mouth. Showoff.

Laugh all you want

I was getting Kathryn ready for lunch (pureed peas and rice cereal, yummy).
I put the bowl down and turned around for a SECOND (see where this is going?)....

Peas & oatmeal smeared on her lap, hands, dress, onesie and pants.
EVERYTHING except the bib. How did she manage that?!
 My husband's been snickering at me ever since. "Is this your first kid or what?"

Saturday, February 4, 2012


I just emptied out my bathrobe pockets...

 Inventory: 4 crayons from 3 different brands, 1 teeny-tiny Tricerotops dinosaur that I probably stepped on a couple days ago, a Lincoln log, scrap of paper and a wadded-up but clean Kleenex in anticipation of someone's runny nose.

What's in YOUR wallet.... I mean, pocket?

Burping Baby

I was feeding Kathryn lunch when Henry runs up behind me and whacks me on the back several times. 

Me: Henry! What are you doing?! We don't hit people!!
Henry: I burping you because you're a PLAY-DOH BURPEE GIRL!

Apparently my son has invented a new toy for Hasbro.

Clean Up

Henry made a glorious mess, happily cutting up scraps of construction paper until the living room rug was littered with brightly-colored confetti. Then it was time to clean up....

Henry: NO Mama!! We CAN"T pick up now! We're gonna miss BREAKFAST!

Wow, is he learning how to escape demands or what?


Henry's all excited, dancing around this morning asking for a second round of grapes.
Me being the indulgant Mama that I am, complied.
I'll deal with the possibility of an explosive 2-handfuls-of-grape-induced aftermath later, I suppose.

Henry: I have some more grapes, please Mama? OK?
Me: All right, Henry. You can have more. Thank you for asking nicely.
(Henry holds up his carefully splayed 4 fingers).
Henry: I have FOUR more grapes!!! OK Mama?


 Meanwhile I'm thinking, "I don't think 4 is as many as you think".
Then I realized he meant 4 BUNCHES. Yeah, not that indulgant....

Friday, February 3, 2012

Changing It Up

Dada: Aaaahhh! Henry's been on my laptop. He's re-arranged all the icons AGAIN!
Henry: What? I LIKE we-arranging dose icons!

Taking Orders

Henry and my husband are playing WoW.

Henry: Dat wasn't nice to kill the snail, Dada!
 Dada: YOU told me to kill the snail, Henry!
Henry: Dat wasn't nice.

Thursday, February 2, 2012


Henry and I went grocery shopping on the way home today. He behaved very well and even received a compliment for helping unload the groceries at the checkout.
I had praised him profusely throughout the shopping trip for behaving.
As we were bagging our items at the counter, the woman next to us was wrangling 2 mobile kids plus 1 in the cart-seat and 1 in a carseat. Wasn't an easy task and I sympathized with her while continously praising Henry for his good behavior to keep his attention and forestall a boredom-induced meltdown.
Then Henry burst out, "Lookit Mama! Dose kids are NOT waiting PATIENTLY! They are NOT behaving for DER Mama! That's not good!" Then, when horrorstruck I didn't respond, he started waving a grocery bag around in an attempt to flag my attention.

Needless to say, I stammered out something along the lines of it wasn't Henry's business to mind what other kids were doing, while mentally screaming "SHUT UP!!!" and avoiding eye contact with poor, harrassed Mama next to us.
Good grief kid, when is that social filter development stage supposed to kick in? I know some people who seem to skip it altogether, but I hope mine aren't among them.