WHY???

Kat's feeling under the weather today so we're staying in.
She's wandering around with her Doc McStuffins stethoscope around her neck, giving herself checkups. Then she found a paintbrush on the kitchen table and held it aloft.
Kat: Mama! Lookit! Can I paint Maggie?
Mama: No, you may not paint the dog.
Kat: Why???...
Mama: Because I said so.
Kat: WHY you say so???

*Sigh*

Medicine

Found some Winter balm with thyme, tea tree oil and eucalyptus while browsing sans kids in the grocery store today so I bought it for Kat. She took the top off and insisted on applying it herself, so I told her to rub some on her belly and not to put any in her mouth.
Looked over a minute later to find her standing there with her shirt pulled up, staring down at the little round balm tin stuck to her stomach.
Not exactly what I meant....

Bedtime for Kat

3 yr old Kat's new bedtime routine. It's already getting old.
Kat: Mama! MAMA!!!
(Mama rushes in)
Kat: What?
Mama: Why did you call me? ...
Kat: Uh....I need something!
Mama: What do you need?
Kat: Something!!
Mama: Could you be a bit more vague? Something is not an actual thing.
Quit stalling and go to sleep, my little no-nap punkin!!

Potty-training moment

Kat's sitting in my lap, sans Pull-up, hugging me and "checking" my eyes and ears with her little otoscope. Then what she said next made me freeze as only the parent of a potty-training kid can.
Kat: Me not go potty in mine diaper! Me FINE!
For those of you who are wondering, my beloved 3 yr old did NOT pee on my lap. Apparently that was just her status update.

Doctor! Doctor!

Henry plopped his foot in Dada's lap for examination.
Dada: What am I looking at here, buddy?
Henry: It feels exaggerating.
(Pause)...
Henry: What does "exaggerating" mean?

Those darn Critters

Noticed a small scratch on Kat's forearm, like she drew a line with a fine-tip red marker.
Mama: How'd you get that scratch, Kat?
Kat: A seal bit me.
Of course. I guessed she was petting the cat's belly again. I was WAY off.

Precious one

I was lying down with Henry the other night, stroking his hair while putting him to bed when I felt a rush of maternal pride.
Mama: Love you so much, Henry. You are the best thing I've ever done.
Henry: Your breath smells like coffee. It's stinky.
...

*Moment passed*

Pairing up

Henry was taunting Kat a bit in the car. She stood her ground though.
Henry: Baby Kathryn.
Kat: Me NOT baby! Me KAFFRYN!
Henry: Baby Kathryn. ...
Kat: Me MAMA'S KAFFRYN! Dada's YOUR friend! Mama's MY friend!

Pairing off a little early.

Stages of Sassiness

Henry's words of wisdom the other night
"When you're a kid, you're not sassy. When you're a teenager, you're a lot sassy."
Mama: Where did you learn that, Henry?
Henry: I just know these things.
...

Not even 6 yrs old and he already knows everything.

Church songs

Henry's nonstop stream of consciousness included this gem after church today.
Henry: Mama, there was a "two-X" word in the church song this morning and I asked the kids what it was and they didn't know but I knew you would know...."
After a few back-and-forths of "Two-x?" we got it. "2x" to repeat the verses a second time. ...
Kinda touched that he "knew" I would know what it meant.

Guessing game

After lunch, I sent Henry to wash up. He gave a great big, "RAWK!" and ran off. I guess he's a slow-running ostrich again. When he came back a bit too soon, I asked if he washed his face and hands.
Henry: I washed one.
Am I supposed to guess? One hand? Only his face?

Tasty

Kat was happily playing a few feet away from me in the living room when I heard her say, "Here! Eat this! It's tasty!"
WHAT??!!!
Turns out she was "feeding" crayons to their rubber alligator. Apparently he likes the yellow crayon the most.